How To Use The Fear of Rejection To Your Advantage
Commenting is a great way to score traffic to your blog. The more you comment the more online contacts and friends you will make. As aggressive as you may be with commenting on other blogs, you need to be equally aggressive with asking people for requests. As a blogger, you should have a good handful of online contacts but I understand that is may be difficult for you to ask for requests by email or with using instant messenger simply because you are nervous about having your request rejected.
Having online contacts is very powerful and for every favor you ask of them, you should be prepared to return TWO, and do so without being asked. When you ask online contacts for favors, their immediate reaction needs to be,
“I should probably do this for him. If I don’t then I may risk losing a great resource and contributor of my own blog. He always stumbles and Diggs my blog posts when I ask, I’d really hate to lose that if I say no to his request”
You should have so much kindness with your friends that when you do make a request, it will NOT be denied. Here are my thoughts about “The Fear of Rejection.”
Instead of fearing rejection yourself, turn the tables around and pass the fear of rejection back to other people. In other words, offer your online contacts with a lot kindness and become someone of great value to them. If you do that, then when you ask them for a request it will cause them to consider the “Cause and Effects” of what will happen if they say no and deny your request.
If you become a very strong contributor of their blog (i.e. always comment on their posts and submit their post into the social networks, etc…) they will then stress more over deciding whether to “Grant” or “Deny” your request than you will. Fear of rejection is only an emotion that can easily be transferred out of your mind and into the minds of other people.
Here is an example of how you could ask an online contact for a request,
“Hey Bob… As bloggers, you and I both know that finding great material to write about can be a challenge. Over that last few months, I really have enjoyed talking with you, getting to know you better and I absolutely enjoy reading your blog. I am usually always the first to vote for your posts in StumbleUpon and Digg. My question for you is would it be possible for you to write a review about my blog? I would really enjoy reading about your perspective of my blog.”
It never hurts to ask! Asking for things can be as difficult or as easy as you make it. The worst thing that can happen is people will say no. There is not a lot at risk with asking a request. If the person says no, you’re not going to die and you’re not going to lose your job, so what’s to fear about. If they say Yes, then you win, if they say No, you have lost nothing.
Popularity: 1% [?]
9 comments
Garry,
I really believe you are on target about building those relationships. I have 3 new PR0 blogs. I was thinking about offering people a link from two of these blogs in exchange for a link to the third one. Do you think this would be a good strategy? Do you have any pointers about things a blogger like yourself would be interested in other than votes so I can tune into their WII FM station.
Thank you for the help and I will start Digging and Stumbling you.
Check out Andy Bacon’s last blog post..MLM Network Marketing Leads
Gary,
I would guess you are bang on with most people’s perception of asking for something. It will be interesting to see if you get flooded with requests to review blogs now. But maybe this is your grand strategy of doing one thing for someone else and getting 2 thing done for you in return! After this weekend I am going to put your strategy to work and ask small biz marketing blog people to review, link or comment to FreshBusinessInc. I’ll let you know how it goes. I think it will be interesting since I have no/little traffic and not very much content.
Check out Scott’s last blog post..Top Five Promotional Products in 2008
This a great post. I will have to put some of this to use soon. I hope to have a product to release in the next few months from one of the other sites.
Check out Top CD Rates Blog’s last blog post..Delaware (DE) Banks CD Rates
At times it is quite difficult to accept rejection. Even following a post like this would still put fear into a person, but you’re right, there is nothing to lose. I guess it’s the mentality of things.
-Mike
Mike,
Do me a big favor… it’s been bugging me for awhile. Please stop using the “Play Games Win Prizes” handle when commenting on my blog. I do appreciate your contributions and I think they would receive a much greater reward if you used your real name or a proper screen name rather than using keywords that don’t pass PageRank anyway.
commenting is a great way to get attention from other bloggers. I think if the comment is rather unique that will make the bloggers curious. I think commenting on blogs can build contacts. Having no contacts means that it is impossible to network and brew new ideas and the online contacts will stimulate the creativity and eventually also the competition.
Check out PraShawn’s last blog post..Reasons why online businesses are the easiest to start.
As the godfather theme plays on in my head…..
Check out Dennis Edell’s last blog post..Only 5 Days Left To Sponsor The *Best Blog Review* Blog Contest!
Great tips-”Commenting is a great way to score traffic to your blog. The more you comment the more online contacts and friends you will make”.Sure your words are true that i had experienced practically,where in the begginning stage i dont know how to make a traffic to my site and blogs.After a deep discussion with my online friends,came to know the importance of commenting in other blogs and forums.Now with their grace i get some traffic much than before.Your article says finally-”It never hurts to ask”.Hope so, i did that in my past and made it success now.I really appreciate for your effort here.thanks.
Check out seosoeasy’s last blog post..SEO Meta Tag Optimization Tips & Tricks
This is a great post for me. I don’t really like making requests from others (for fear of rejection) but you put forward an important point of casue and effect. By doing our part for others first, it makes them harder to say no.
Leave a Comment