The Top Ten Google Keyword Blunders
Matt Jones is such a funny guy. I really like him. He triggered me to write this post. His most recent article titled, “Top 16 Funniest Referring Keyword Phrases To Blogging Fingers“ put a smile on my face and totally inspired me to write this and I think this totally needed right now. Spirits are down and people need to cheer up a little bit.
Today in the blogosphere and I smell gun powder and see huge clouds of smoke starting to rise. It seems that there is a war going on again and the battles are starting to surface. It’s like a modern digital Woodstock era. Large groups of bloggers want freedom and large systems are attempting to conform these free spirited societies. It’s a war of the mass free spirited bloggers being attacked by Google. Or rather, that is the public perception. And today, it seems morale is low in our blogosphere. I really can feel it… people aren’t too happy right now. The blogosphere seems quiet. To me, its like the calm before the storm.
Anyway… enough of that. For those that know me pretty well, I am not much into blog memes. I have made that pretty clear in the past, and consequently I don’t get asked to participate in them. However, sometimes I think I have to step out of the boundaries I have laid for myself. And today, I think a really good blog meme needs to be spread like wildfire will help us all cheer up by making a comical poke at Google.
* I am NOT trying to make Google look stupid. I am just trying having some fun and lift spirits of all the bloggers out here who are hurt or confused with Google’s strong arm and wrath.
If Google can’t have a sense of humor with me being the creator of this meme, go ahead and ban me. I created this blog meme not for the purpose of trying to manipulate your precious algorithm but rather to provide the blogosphere with a stress release system that will help provide comfort to the ones that feel you have stabbed them in their backs.
I call this blog meme, The Top Ten Google Keyword Blunders. And this blog meme is all about the traffic bloggers get from stupid keywords that people search for in Google where our blogs pull up clearly being totally irrelevant, thus proving that the goddess almighty search engine is bunk.
Garry’s Top Ten Google Keyword Blunders:
- “what does a neighborhood look like” – WTF is this? Who would search for something like this? And why in the world did my blog pull up?
- “what does out of the box thinking mean?” – LOL!! Well, I guess I should answer this since someone “really” wanted to know, so here goes:Dear Google Searcher,To think out of the box, you must not be in the box while thinking. If you think while being in the box you are not thinking out of it. (I read that in a fortune cookie! and I pass this wealth of knowledge down to you!) May the future bring you many days outside of boxes. Sometimes being in boxes can get a little shallow and uncomfortable.Best Regards,
Garry Conn
- “The Biggest MySpace Loser!” - What the heck is this? Ok, FINE!!!! Garry Conn “IS” the biggest MySpace loser… I am keeping that title and I am proud of it, thank you!
- “thanks for taking the test!” – Oh #?@*!!! … I hope it didn’t turn out positive! Is that why I am itchy… ah, never mind… moving on!
- “sites that will link to you” - Sorry! We can’t do that anymore. Google trains us to be assholes. Click here after you have prepared your site and filled it full of propaganda.
- “resubmit a url to google” – You’ll see better results jumping off your roof in hopes of growing wings and flying.
- “pictures of my son” - Fellow moms and dads. Sometimes its best to not to investigate what your teen son does online. However, if you really want to know.. visit MySpace.com and look up screen name: Cumnoutofthecloset14. He pretty popular among a SRANGE group of friends.
- “no more page rank” – Yeah…. get used to it.
- “no cost mug shot” – Yep! These usually come free with the arrest. Have a few beers and slam into a light pole and you can get one too!
- “how to get popular boys to like you” – OMG!!! And Google thinks I can help answer this question!
Here is the part where I tag people to play!
Ok… so now I have to tag people to play:
- Tobsy, I am tagging you!
- Madhur, my good buddy who just turned 22!
- Marc Eilbeck, who recently posted a really cool post!
- Jack Humphrey, who asks people “Who Cares about PageRank?”
- Elias Kai, who spreads the news about Google’s Wrath on Paid Links.
- Gaman, who asks the community if they have been affected?
- CyberCoder, who suffers from major loss in Adsense income yet he plays by the rules!
- And anyone else who reads this and wants to play!!!
List of Participating Blogs:
- Oct, 9th – CyberCoder’s Top Ten List of Google Keyword Blunders
- Oct, 9th – Tobsy’s Top Ten List of Google Keyword Blunders
- Oct, 10th – Mahhur’s Top Five List of Google Keyword Blunders
- Oct, 10th – Eliza’s Top Ten List of Google Keyword Blunders
- Oct, 14th – Mike Wheeler’s Fun With Google
- Your Blog Goes Here
I hate to say it… but this post was fun. I really enjoyed choosing my Top Ten Google Keyword Blunders and I hope you will find equal enjoyment in doing so to! Drop me a comment and let me know if you wrote a post that shares your Google keyword blunders and I’ll edit my post to include you on the “List of Participating Blogs”.
Take care, have fun, cheer up, Google doesn’t own the Internet… they just own their search engine. And its up to you to decide whether or not you want to rank well in it.
Popularity: 1% [?]
19 comments
Haha Garry nice idea and thanks for the mention, I have to say “how to get popular boys to like you†is hilarious.
Well… Matt, you’re popular… how did I get you to like me.
… You do like me don’t you? LOL!!!!
Actually I didn’t have any funny phrases in google search requests. Why that would be?
THanks for the Tag Garry . I will definately post my entry by tomorrow.
[...] before, but thanks to Garry Conn I think I have to play along here. Garry tagged me with his “The Top Ten Google Keyword Blunders” and made the comment that.. ” CyberCoder, who suffers from major loss in Adsense [...]
Pretty funny stuff Garry, I am like you and never got involved with the meme’s, but I could not resist this one so I have posted mine. I am sure if I used some of my other sites it might get pretty bizarre, lol…..
[...] The Top Ten Google Keyword Blunders – Meme BloggersJourney is a relatively young blog, as you can see by looking at my impressionable pagerank of 0. Thanks to my laziness it also doesn’t have that many posts yet. Since most of my search engine keywords are relevant and on topic, I was at a loss when Garry Conn tagged me for his “Top Ten Google Keyword Blundersâ€Â-meme. [...]
Hmm, I used another site, and it got kind of bizarre. I left the creepiest things out, though. *g*
Thanks for tagging, Garry. It was fun.
Thanks for the tag garry. I would post about it but i’m too tired been a long hard day of maths and physics. Ultimately due to not posting traffic goes down which sucks but I have no energy to even think let along write something interesting.
But I will post about it when I do have energy lol.
Okay, well ya didn’t tag me but I really needed this so I’m going to go hunt and see what people are searching to find my site.
You really did crack me up. 
THanks, I needed it. (mug shots)
Hey guys,
Thanks for the cool comments and also thanks for participating.
@Symbian, you know… that is kinda funny in itself!
@Madhur, happy birthday dude… sorry for being late!
@David, Yes. I am not the blog meme type. So on the rare occasion when I do create one, I would like to believe that people really enjoy it. Thanks for participating. Your post is great!
@Tobsy, Your post was totally funny dude!
@Marc, not to worry man. Chin up, your hard work in studies will give you a very nice job!
@Eliza, I am very happy you enjoyed it. We all need a good laugh right now. Many of us have our own reasons for it. So, I am happy to bring a smile to your face.
[...] some REALLY funny keywords on Blog The Internet! This is an extension from my blog meme titled, The Top Ten Google Keyword Blunders. It’s a simple game. Check your stats to find really stupid keywords where your site actually [...]
[...] Referring Keyword Phrases To Blogging Fingers” which made me laugh . This was followed by Garry Connwho went on to start a blog meme “Top google keywords blunders ” so as too cheer up [...]
Okay Garry, I did this. Man some people are NASTY. Mom can pull up a lot of sickos.
Eliza, I have your post added to the list of participating blogs. Wow… that is cRaZy…
LOL…no more page rank. That’s an unfortunate bummer for nearly everyone lately, I suppose ;P
I put together a little keyword post recently as well. I left it as my website URL if ya want to check it out. It’s not really a top 10 though, just a list of weird stuff people search that leads them to my site.
That is a cool list man… make a quite edit to it and include a link to my post and I’ll add your post to my list of participating blogs.
Consider it done
I just realized I’ve been making the rest of my comments with the link to that post as well. Whoops, lol.
I have your page added… another wonderful addition to the list.
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